The other day, my fiance was reading several messages to a friend of mine off Twitter. He mentioned the message to his coworkers, and they began to harass him. Let me explain. This was a message sent to a Twitter friend and a conversation about how having MRKH vs being a *trans* woman makes you any less of a woman. The messages also compared having XY to having XX chromosomes from birth. My fiance mentioned my MRKH in the conversation and how I don't have a uterus, have a shorter vagina, etc to his co-workers, and they started picking on him for, wait for it.... having sex with a man. That's correct, a group of men banned together against my fiance, calling him gay and telling him he is having sex with a man because there is no way I could be a whole woman without a uterus and only having a partial vagina. They then proceeded to argue about the chromosome issue, being that all embryos start out female and end up either developing into complete females or males. And since I didn't "fully" develop as a female, I must be a man. And oh, "what an idiot you are", "how great is sex with another man", "You must be gay, how is the other dick?" etc etc etc.
I heard all about it when I got home from work. This man, my fiance, is my rock. He comes to most of my gynecologist appointments and supports me through blood work, X-Rays, MRIs, CT scans, and everything in between. He lets me break down and cry my heart out on his shoulder when another of our close friends is pregnant and there is nothing in the world I want more than a baby of our own. And folks, that day, I saw my rock, my solace, break down and cry after seeing how bad the harassment can get. I had to personally confront these people and speak with them about my condition, and explain everything to them.
This experience made me wonder what exactly *trans* men and women go through on a daily basis. This was a horrible experience once for us as a couple, let alone multiple times. Let me tell you, being *trans* or having MRKH or being gay or a lesbian etc etc etc DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A PERSON! I would not choose any of those things for myself, mind you. I am (more or less) a woman. I was born with perfect XX chromosomes, and I enjoy being with a MAN, having XY chromosomes. But that does not mean I am unaccepting of anyone else's choices or medical conditions or what have you. If you were born with XY but should have been born with XX because you are a woman, so be it. And vice versa for *trans* men! If you are XX and love another XX, that is who you are. Don't change it, embrace it. Be yourself! Isn't that what we were taught in kindergarten? Some children's book talking about ugly ducklings growing up to be beautiful swans even after being tormented for years? Come on folks. This is the 21st century. We are all human, and deserve to be treated as such. More kindergarten quotes? Treat others the way you would want to be treated. Also, there was a man in the news a while ago that was born a man and wants to be a dog. He is looking for his perfect "puppy girl". So if you know of any XX's who want to be a dog, Google him! Everyone deserves to be loved and accepted.
Thanks for reading! Any comments, questions, or concerns, please give me a shout out below. Again, I apologize if I offended anyone.
Author's Note: I write *trans* with stars because I have a problem identifying them as being any different from anyone else, but it is hard for me to specify that I am referring to them without using the term. Thus, the stars. I know a wonderful woman I've connected with through chance when searching Twitter for MRKH women. Her name is Sophia Banks, find her on Twitter @sophiaphotos. She is an incredible photographer and an amazing advocate for the entire *trans* community. Her name has been used with permission.
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