I go for my trans-vaginal ultrasound (dildocam) at the end of July. I am extremely nervous, since my first (and only!) PAP test in March was painful and upsetting and strangely did not make me feel any better than I had before the test. For some odd reason, I felt the need to ask my doctor for EVERY. TEST. AVAILABLE. I went for 5 weeks of blood work, am going for 2 ultrasounds (one dildocam, one regular pelvic), and had a PAP smear all relatively smashed together in the last 3-4 months. As if somehow, by shoving all of these tests (most of them irrelevant at the moment) would help better my odds and make me feel better about my syndrome, and would help me learn exactly what is wrong with me.
I don't mean to sound harsh when I say that. It's just, when I was born, my mother was told I only had 1 kidney. At age 13 or 14, I started suffering from really bad back pain. It ended up being scoliosis (a twist or curvature in the natural spine). Come age 15, I still hadn't had my period. So after a number of tests, it was discovered I have MRKH, the absence of my uterus and some of my vagina. THEN, at around 17, I started getting severe bladder infections, sometimes re-occurring twice monthly. I ended up seeing a urologist, who found nothing wrong with my bladder or urinary tract (HUH!! Something is NOT wrong for once), but during the CT scan done before my scope, they discover (drum roll please) that I not only have one kidney, but TWO, and miraculously, they are two separate, fully functioning kidneys that have separate "wiring" but are BOTH ON MY RIGHT SIDE!!
Here's what I've pieced together:
- I am missing my left ovary, uterus and upper section of my vagina.
- My "left" kidney formed on my right, along with the other one, but was completely separate. (Not sure if "ectopic"?? or what to call it??)
- My spine curvature starts at the left (the highest point) and ends on the right, where there is a subsequent malformation in my tailbone!
I would love to have some REAL answers about what is going on with my body! I want the testing done now and not later (when we are actively trying to have a child of our own). This way, I have a better idea of my options in advance.
All of this "too many options" stuff is stressing me out!! I've been looking at kids available for adoption online, and am STILL WAITING to hear back from the government agency whether adoption applications are being accepted in Nova Scotia again or not. I may call them and leave another message later... I also need to research surrogacy if that is an option and find someone who would be willing to be a surrogate for us. I have a list of qualifications, so that should be interesting. But that will come around once I know my options and if my eggs "might" be healthy for removal and transfer (IF we catch them with one of the ultrasounds and IF we can come up with the funds for IVF and surrogacy.)
Anyways, that is my rant about my stress right now.... Sorry for TMI if anybody is offended! Thanks for reading!