Thanks for reading!
Here are the two MRKH tattoos I designed last night for myself. I am hoping to put one of them on my right forearm, on the inside. I just can't decide which one I would like to go with! It is a tough choice! (The first one is my favorite, but I LOVE the word Strength being incorporated in the second... Might modify the first one a little and re-post it.)
Our adoption information session is officially on July 8, 2014 and we are confirmed to attend. We are making it an "us" night, complete with dinner out before the session. I am very excited and have started a list of questions to ask while we are there. Do any of you have any questions that you think we should ask during the beginning of the adoption process?
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We received a phone call from our local social services representative, and answered some questions to start the adoption process today. I am not sure of anything at the moment, but she asked for our work contact information, our dates of birth, full names, and gave us a bunch of information regarding what kind of things they will look into during the adoption process. We have a lot of forms to fill out, and need to provide criminal record and child abuse registry checks (obviously). We requested to have only children 0-5 on our possible matches, simply because I am only 20 and it wouldn't be appropriate really for me to be parenting a child any older than that (for now). That being said, with that age range, we could be looking at a 4-8 year wait to be potentially matched with a child. In the mean time, we need to attend an information session in a few weeks, followed by a course a couple of months later if we decide to continue on the adoption journey.
I was really surprised, because C actually seems very excited (or at least a lot more enthusiastic) to be going through the process. When I told him I had called the 1-800 number, he gave me a big smile and a kiss, which is a far cry from "I'm not so sure that's the route we should be going." And when I told him the rep had contacted me this afternoon and I had to call her back, he told me to get on it right away! I'm very excited that he's looking forward to exploring the option with me and taking this big of a step towards starting a family of our own. I'm feeling very positive, please hope and pray for us as we start our journey!
Thanks for reading!
Just made the big phone call, and they have to re-do the information since we moved since my first call and changed our phone number. I should be getting a call from someone in my area within the next 10 days regarding the information required on our application! Keeping all my fingers and toes and everything else crossed for this to work out! One big step down! :)
For those of you who don't know me yet, or are just getting used to my blog, let me tell you a little about myself. I am 20 years old, and the main point of this blog is to discuss my struggles and triumphs with MRKH and infertility. Mayer-Rockitansky-Kuster-Hauser syndrome is a congenital condition I was born with. I am missing my uterus, and the upper 2/3 of my vagina. I do not have a period, and can never have children of my own unless we go through surrogacy and in-vitro fertilization, and lots and lots of moneeyyy!! On top of the MRKH, I also have scoliosis, which is a curvature in my spine. I also have two kidneys on one side of my body, both separate and fully functional.
I work as a supervisor at Tim Hortons, and do a lot of horseback riding and volunteering when I'm off. I have 4 cats and a dog. My boyfriend C and I have been together for 3 years and 9 months (I had to stop and count that out!), and he has been the most fabulous support system I could ever have. My family has been incredible, as well as my medical team, namely my gynecologist that is very to-the-point and answers any and all of my crazy weird questions about everything to do with my body.
My main "defense" when people ask me if we have "kids yet", I tell them I do not have kids, I have cats. I am the crazy cat lady that has a boyfriend. Yup, let that sink in. People seem to think that since we have been together so long, we should have kids "by now" but I think that is just crazy. I am 20, he is 26. We have our struggles (most people I know personally are unaware of them) and we are still exploring our options and trying to get ourselves on the best financial base possible. See my kitties below!
We are looking into adoption and into surrogacy. C is against adoption on the basis that the kids would not be "his" biologically, but has agreed to participate in the home study and course process required to adopt a child in Nova Scotia, and then we will see what we think of the whole deal once we are done with the entry level stuff. The other part of the deal is that we travel to the city regularly to meet with my gynecologist together, and start attending meetings put on year by the Atlantic Assisted Reproductive Services team at the IWK. We are going to gather as much information as we possibly can about all of our options before coming to a final decision. I would love to have a family, regardless of how I get to that point, but C is adamant he wants a child that is biologically his and does not want a large family, so we will continue to plow through our options and re-work our ideas as life progresses.
Here is a fabulous picture of me, with my mother's dog Penni (who turned 11 on the day this photo was taken!) Just because I am an animal person! :)
And here is a (older) picture of me with C. He is amazing support system that lets me cry out my frustrations and fill our computer with adoption sites and IVF information networks. We are relaxing in this picture at low tide off his family wharf. We have so much love and support to offer a family someday!
Please do not replicate photos without permission, they are professionally done by the lovely Jan Wan Photography. I paid for these photos to be taken and the rights to distribute them! Find her on Facebook to schedule your own session!
Thank you for following me and reading my blog. I look forward to sharing my journey with you along the way!
P.S... I still have not called the adoption agency, but am picking up the phone RIGHT NOW because the sun just came out and that is my sign! No more rain!!! Happy days to come :)
Today is the day, I embrace making that big phone call to the provincial adoption agency and ask if they are accepting applications again. They haven't returned my call that I made at the end of April, except to tell me they would be making a decision *soon*, so wish me luck! I am feeling very positive and optimistic this morning! :)
I have been feeling very emotional lately.. Not sure if it is me (finally) coming out of the almost-3-months-hormone-free (complete with acne and anger and tears and craziness), or if I'm just becoming more and more worried about the "future" (and our chances of having/adopting children) every day.
I go for my trans-vaginal ultrasound (dildocam) at the end of July. I am extremely nervous, since my first (and only!) PAP test in March was painful and upsetting and strangely did not make me feel any better than I had before the test. For some odd reason, I felt the need to ask my doctor for EVERY. TEST. AVAILABLE. I went for 5 weeks of blood work, am going for 2 ultrasounds (one dildocam, one regular pelvic), and had a PAP smear all relatively smashed together in the last 3-4 months. As if somehow, by shoving all of these tests (most of them irrelevant at the moment) would help better my odds and make me feel better about my syndrome, and would help me learn exactly what is wrong with me.
I don't mean to sound harsh when I say that. It's just, when I was born, my mother was told I only had 1 kidney. At age 13 or 14, I started suffering from really bad back pain. It ended up being scoliosis (a twist or curvature in the natural spine). Come age 15, I still hadn't had my period. So after a number of tests, it was discovered I have MRKH, the absence of my uterus and some of my vagina. THEN, at around 17, I started getting severe bladder infections, sometimes re-occurring twice monthly. I ended up seeing a urologist, who found nothing wrong with my bladder or urinary tract (HUH!! Something is NOT wrong for once), but during the CT scan done before my scope, they discover (drum roll please) that I not only have one kidney, but TWO, and miraculously, they are two separate, fully functioning kidneys that have separate "wiring" but are BOTH ON MY RIGHT SIDE!!
Here's what I've pieced together:
I would love to have some REAL answers about what is going on with my body! I want the testing done now and not later (when we are actively trying to have a child of our own). This way, I have a better idea of my options in advance.
All of this "too many options" stuff is stressing me out!! I've been looking at kids available for adoption online, and am STILL WAITING to hear back from the government agency whether adoption applications are being accepted in Nova Scotia again or not. I may call them and leave another message later... I also need to research surrogacy if that is an option and find someone who would be willing to be a surrogate for us. I have a list of qualifications, so that should be interesting. But that will come around once I know my options and if my eggs "might" be healthy for removal and transfer (IF we catch them with one of the ultrasounds and IF we can come up with the funds for IVF and surrogacy.)
Anyways, that is my rant about my stress right now.... Sorry for TMI if anybody is offended! Thanks for reading!
Sorry if any of these are offensive, I am feeling a little frustrated and thought a jumbled post would be helpful. I'm sorry if I offend anyone!
1) I heard my baby's heartbeat and I cried! I'm 12 weeks! :') OMG #soemotional
2) OMG! Clearblue test says that I am 1-2 weeks Pregnant! #preggerz #mommytobe
3) "Morning sickness sucks."
4) I can't sleep, my 13-week belly is in the way..
5) *CONSTANTLY posting belly/ultrasound/baby pics*
6) I HATE MY PERIOD! Wish it would go away!
7) I'm going for an abortion next week, accidentally got me preggerz before the wedding and don't wanna be fat for our VAY CAY!
And so concludes my write up of the 7 things fertiles do that drive. me. crazy. Any more to add just message me on Twitter or comment to this post. Thanks for reading!
21 year old girl with MRKH. I am a college student, supervisor at Tim Hortons, writer and volunteer on the side. I love my animals, reading, and spending time with people closest to me! I am trying to come to terms with my syndrome. I hope to find the perfect way to start a family of our own.