I have a hard time understanding how these positive thoughts ultimately result in a positive test result and 35-40 weeks of pregnancy. It gets really difficult to think positive after a while. There are always the somedays and maybes and "let's try this!" floating around, but those get weaker every time there is a failed test. There is so much self-doubt and self-hatred going on, among the depression and the disappointment of it all.
Boyfriends and husbands are not immune, they feel just as much self-hate and self-doubt as we do, they just try their best not to show it. That way, they can continue to be our rocks of comfort. Please thank your man for being there, even if the drugs are making you crazy like mine make me!
I am just speaking from my own experiences so far, not that we are even trying yet, but even just imagining trying and it not succeeding, every time. I hate to imagine what we would have done and what would have happened if we had started trying and I had never gotten my diagnosis 3 years and 5 months ago. I can't imagine the heartbreak it would have been to find all of this out in my prime child-bearing years, instead of finding out in my teens. The heartbreak that our fellow sisters go through time and time again, for that elusive positive test and a beautiful, healthy child in the end.
For all my sisters, I salute you. For your positivity, your strength, your perseverance, and your words of wisdom and encouragement for the rest of us.